Hi all,

Reminder feature drafts are due today if you want strong guidance on how to improve your works in progress.

A couple reminders we discussed:

1. Word length can be no more than 1,250 words. However, what’s most important is that the writing is tight and clear AND the curiosity of the reader is sated — in other words, you don’t insert points or detail that raise more questions than you answer in your copy.

2. You must have quotes from at least three people you have spoken directly to for your story.

3. You cannot interview immediate family – parents, grandparents and siblings – for your story (you can certainly use them as a resource to find other people to talk to).

4. You must include contact information — email and phone numbers – of the people you interviewed. I will spot check these.

As discussed in class, the list of essential books no non-fiction writer should be without is here.

Questions? Let me know.

-Kevin

Hi all,

Want to meet for a half hour WITH BOTH LABS (Tuesday and Thursday’s group) at the Digital Media Lab at 4 p.m. Tuesday.

(Thursday group, if any of you have other obligations at that time, please send me a note immediately).

Reason for the change is to give both labs equal time with this week’s assignment, as well as ample time to research/report your features. This will be the last in-class assignment of the semester.

Assignment: Go down to Happy Park (Sun Yat Sen Square) and spend at least15 minutes standing or sitting in one place and write down what you observe – be as specific as possible so you can set the scene for your reader who won’t have the chance to see what you see.

WRITE THREE DESCRIPTIVE PARAGRAPHS

Deadline: For both labs due by 9 p.m. Friday. Name document: Park (“Your name here”) with the same subject line: Park (Your Name Here)

COMMENTS:

Use all your senses – smell, too!

Be wary of making assumptions, and avoid stereotyping

-       details can avoid that

-       show don’t tell! Stereotypes tell, details show!

-       What’s a “foreigner”? “Non-Chinese”? That fair?

Cultivate an obsession with details

-       if there are shadows/clouds, what shape are they?

-       If someone has a handbag, what color is it, how heavy does it look based on how it’s being carried?

-      Eavesdrop! Listen to what others are saying. What’s going on?

Reading – details in feature stories.

Have a read of this incredible story series, which won the Pulitzer Prize in feature writing last year: http://www.pulitzer.org/archives/9151

Note the incredible detail, and more importantly, imagine all the questions the writer must have asked and researched to get this level of detail.

Feature story drafts – if you want me to review a draft of your feature, please send the draft no later than Friday April 20 at 9 p.m.

Final draft of your feature story is due by 11:59 p.m. Friday April 27.

Questions? Let me know.

-Kevin

Hi all,

Reminder that your out-of-class hard news/event final drafts are due by 11:59 p.m. today (Friday April 6). If they are even one minute late, you will get an automatic letter grade reduction in your score. Also, a reminder I’ve extended the word length limit to 600 words (that DOESN’T mean you need to turn in a story that’s 600 words — if 500 words or fewer is all you need to tell the story, that’s fine! In fact, it’s often better).

Your feature story proposals are due by the end of the day (11:59 p.m.) tomorrow (Saturday April 7).

You all now should have your grades and feedback from the Alec Ross assignment. If you have not received it, please contact me immediately.

Labs next week – I have a short (and fun) out-of-class assignment for the labs next week. Please watch the blog and your e-mail on Monday for more details.

Finally, slides from Monday’s class can be found here.

Questions? Let me know.

-Kevin

Hi Tuesday lab folks,

As I mentioned, we need more practice on leads — not leading with ‘who’, but the most compelling ‘what’.

Here are five draft stories from your fellow students. Please write a new lead for each of the five stories.

Your leads (on one Word document, not five, please) are due by the end of lab.

Please name your document: Leads (Your Name Here) and send by email with the same subject line: Leads (Your Name Here)

Story One here.

Story Two here.

Story Three here.

Story Four here.

Story Five here.

Hi all,

Beloware the notes from yesterday’s review of common problems with the hard news drafts. Especially important are notes on leads and quotes.

-Kevin

Questions to ask yourself:

Leads

As I’ve said in class several times, rarely start with the Who (unless there is a reasonable expectation a general audience knows the person) but rather the most interesting What.

Not:

Christine Fang, the Chief Executive of Hong Kong Council of Social Service addressed on March 7 that poverty can only be solved with innovative ways and joint effort from institutions.

Better:

Poverty can only be solved with innovation and joint effort from government and businesses, the Chief Executive of Hong Kong Council of Social Service said in a March 7 conference on “The Business of a Better World.” (Flipped the structure of the lead to put the ‘what’, not the who, first).

Not:

A Foreign Correspondence’s Club panel of two senior editors and a leading security expert opened a discussion ‘A Deadly Profession – How to Confront the Dangers of Modern Journalism’ on Wednesday evening at the press club.

Better:

As the demand for news grows, so do the dangers for journalists, said experts at the talk ‘A Deadly Profession – How to Confront the Dangers of Modern Journalism’ on Wednesday at the Hong Kong Foreign Correspondents Club. (Dug down in the story to find the most interesting bit to lead with)

Reporting/Quotes:

Is this too vague/not specific enough? Do I need to get back in touch with my sources to get better detail to improve the story?

Is this information right?

Am I editorializing (inserting opinion)?

Is this really the best quote/information to use? What should I have asked instead? Can I get in touch with my sources and ask (remember from the early class ALWAYS get email/phone numbers of people you quote)?

Am I giving specific examples? Am I showing, rather than simply telling, by bringing in good examples that illustrate the point?

Is this “Holy Shit!” or “No shit…” information (always lead and put toward the top of the story your ‘Holy Shit!’ information?

 QUOTES

Please watch form on quotes. Should be:   “Quote, quote and quote,” Fang said. “Quote and quote.”

So a comma (,) before the last quote and the attribution (who said it). If the quote continues, put a period (.) after the attribution (Fang said.) Begin the next quote with a Capitalize word (“Quote and quote.”)

If you’re unsure, go online AND LOOK AT ANY NEWS STORY and mimic the punctuation and quote style found there.

 Ellipses (…)

Not:

“From nations to individuals, they are too short-sighted – they only focus on short-term benefit and fail to recognize the importance of sustainable development,” said Lee “… and the problems are still unsolved.”

Better:

“From nations to individuals, they are too short-sighted – they only focus on short-term benefit and fail to recognize the importance of sustainable development,” said Lee “And the problems are still unsolved.” (The phrase is a complete sentence/thought)

Break up long quotes

Not:

“There isn’t any point where you can say that because this one person didn’t identify their name, that particular comment is any less serious in that discussion. So I do believe that anonymity or non-anonymity will have to be taken in the context of which the statement is appearing…I believe it is the language, context and its contents [that matters].” Mysoor said.

But:

“There isn’t any point where you can say that because this one person didn’t identify their name, that particular comment is any less serious in that discussion,” Mysoor said. “So I do believe that anonymity or non-anonymity will have to be taken in the context of which the statement is appearing. I believe it is the language, context and its contents [that matters].”

Don’t use quotes in a series

-When changing speaker, often best to give a short transition

Not:

“What the government now carrying out are measures, but not policies.” Fang said. “The government is not spending capital and resources on societal aspects and dealing with severe social problems like unemployment and housing.”

“Effective policy on employment is the best solution to solve poverty and maintain social sustainability. Last year, the caring companies and caring organizations had created 10,000 jobs for the disadvantaged.”

“I see participation on social sustainability as part of my life! Our company has in fact started to work on it fifteen years ago. We offer trainings and employment to the disadvantaged. We keep staying tuned to integrity.” said Andrew Jones, a guardian of Sanctuary Resorts which is a hotel business.

Better:

“Effective policy on employment is the best solution to solve poverty and maintain social sustainability. Last year, the caring companies and caring organizations had created 10,000 jobs for the disadvantaged.”

Sanctuary Resorts made social sustainability integral to its business plan 15 years ago. “We offer trainings and employment to the disadvantaged. We keep staying tuned to integrity,” said Andrew Jones, a guardian of Sanctuary Resorts which is a hotel business.

Wordiness:

Am I being clear?

Is this redundant (or repetitive) information?

Is this detail not relevant to the story? Is this necessary?

Can I say this better with fewer words in a strong Subject-Verb-Direct Object style?

Should I use a different word?

Am I backing into sentences rather than stating strongly the point in subject-verb-direct object form (Not: John Smith stated the biggest problem is… Better: The biggest problem is….   , Smith said.)

Grammar

Is it the right verb tense? Am I using present tense (is) when I should be using past tense (was).

Is my punctuation correct? Do my subject and verb agree? Am I using singular (without an ‘s’) when I should use plural (with an ‘s’)? Or vice-versa? Am I using the right preposition (‘at’ instead of ‘in’ for example)? Etc. …

Style

Am I using full names on first reference? Am I using family surname on second reference? Am I spelling out the month of dates (February 22, not Feb. 22, or 22 February)

Am I using a pronoun (he, she) when the subject’s surname is more clear?

Numbers: Am I spelling out numbers one through nine, and using numerals for 10 and higher – except when starting a sentence with a number (which writers try to avoid).

Am I using proper attribution throughout (he/she said)? Am I backing into sentences rather than stating strongly the point in subject-verb-direct object form (Not: John Smith stated the biggest problem is… Better: The biggest problem is….   , Smith said.)

Structure

Is my lede strong and interest? Am I keeping relevant information together? Am I putting the most interesting information first? Am I NOT being a slave to chronology?

Hi all,

You should have gotten your feedback from the structure exercise, and anyone who has turned in their hard news out-of-class draft has received feedback from me.

Reminder: Tomorrow instead of class we will attend Alec Ross’s lecture. As an in-class assignment, you must write a hard news/event story no longer than 600 words long with at least three people quoted in the story. Must follow the 4-step structure.

Deadline for the story: Wednesday March 21 at 9 p.m.

Save as a Word document with the name: Alec Ross (Your Name Here). Subject line of your email should be the same: Alec Ross (Your Name Here).

Because of the assignment, we will not had labs this week. However, I will be at the lab on Tuesday from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. to answer any questions you have on this assignment, progress on your out-of-class hard news assignment, ideas on your feature story or any other question you have.

Already mentioned this before, but will say again:

DO NOT PLAGIARIZE (COPY) WORK. ANYONE CAUGHT USING WORDS THAT WERE COPIED AND PASTED FROM PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED OR ONLINE WILL FAIL

If you use material on Ross that has been previously published, you must cite the source. Example: according to his State Department biography …  Or: according to the Washington Post.

I noticed several of you in your backgrounders clearly cut-and-paste content without telling where the information came from. The idea is to write background — and all content — in your own words, citing sources where appropriate.

Also, as I mentioned on the blog, several of you wrote very long background material. Frankly, if you write more than a 100 words background, that’s far too much (the less you need, the better).

The real goal of the exercise last week wasn’t for you to pre-write the piece, but to get your head in the game — to go into that room tomorrow more informed than anyone else, better able to predict what we might say, and better able to react if he says something unexpected.

Looking forward to seeing you all tomorrow!

Questions? Let me know.

-Kevin

Hi all,

Slides for the backgrounder assignment can be found here.

Please remember (which it’s clear from the backgrounders turned in Tuesday many of you forgot) you do not simply cut and paste from other sources. The information must be attributed and the writing restrained — not using colorful adjectives to say how great he is or marketing language like “he has worked tirelessly to improve social media use in foreign policy” or “revolutionized technology use in fight poverty”. That sounds like language used by his PR department and shows favoritism on your part. Just give his background credentials that establishes his expertise and experience in a straight-forward manner: The reader can make up his or her own mind on how “great” or “tireless” he is.

Also some of you have written very long backgrounds ahead of time. That’s fine, but just remember the most important part of the story is what actually happens on Monday. You only have 600 words to write about the event, so any background on his expertise and background should be as short as possible to give as much space to actually telling readers what he said — and what participants thought — at Monday’s event. If your background paragraphs are more than 100 words, that’s probably too long. (If 50-75 words get the job done, even better)

Questions? E-mail me.

-Kevin

Hi there,

The notes on “how I would cover an event” can be found here.

Slides discussed in lab on interviewing and quoting can be found here.

Questions? Let me know.

-Kevin

Hi all,

The compiled fruit of your labors is here  – 55 events in Hong Kong that I’ve reviewed and think are appropriate to pursue for your event story. Plenty of fodder to give you ideas.

A couple things

Hi all,

As I showed you in class, you can find two examples of strong event stories here and here.

Best, Kevin